This short story was written in response to Esther Chilton’s prompt word of the week. This week’s word is: Service…
“Alright, guys,” Chuck Bilson said, “You all need to gather ‘round.”
He waved over the whole team, “Just come on over. Quickly finish what you’re doing. We need to have a chat.”
He adjusted the hairnet covering his beard while he waited for everyone to gather around. He noticed a fresh grease stain on his apron and rubbed at it with his thumb.
“What’s going on today, guys?” He said. “Where’s the love?”
He looked across the team. Proud employees of Brilliant Burger or a casting session for the next Zombies film. He couldn’t tell.
“Today, we need to talk about service,” he said. “Customer service.”
He raised an eyebrow in a James Bond-esque fashion, but instead of soaking up adoration and the sweet sound of rapturous laughter, he heard a Bubblegum bubble pop somewhere.
“Look, I know it’s been a long day but you need to hear this. You guys are dying out there. Can I tell you something? Brilliant Burger makes brilliant burgers. We all know this. Been doing it for ten years and we’ve only got better. But do you know what the secret really is?” he said.
“The sauce?” Jed asked.
“Well, yes, the sauce, but that’s not where I was going,” Chuck said. “It’s the service. It’s always been the service. This is the thing, we do great burgers. But in truth, there are six other burger joints in our neighbourhood and four of them do great burgers too. And you know what keeps customers coming here?”
“The sauce?” Jed asked, wiping something from his fingers onto his trouser leg.
“Not just the sauce, Jed. The customer service! We set ourselves apart with our customer service!” Chuck said, with wide eyes, his hands unconsciously falling into a ‘jazz hands’ position.
Jenny started to raise a hand but Chuck waved it down.
“For ten years, we’ve stayed the best in the neighbourhood because of our attentiveness and focus on what our customers need. They come here because they know they’re going to get both a great burger and the best service in town.”
Jenny looked across to the other team members then over to Chuck who was fully immersed in his pep-talk. She raised her hand again, but once more it was butted away by the back of one of Chuck’s jazz hands.
He went on. And on.
He covered strategies and role plays. He reeled off tales of his intrinsic customer service know-how. He coolly mentioned Burger King and called it a Brilliant Burger copycat.
Arms flailed and hands flapped. If his arms were long enough, he’d be doling out self back-slaps. Employee of the Month voting would landslide in his direction, securing him a framed photo for hanging on the wall between the Brilliant Burger notice board and a photograph of someone’s missing cat.
He hadn’t noticed the glaze of apathy had developed into anxious restlessness for some of the staff, nor had he seen Big Stu come out of his office.
“Bilson!” Big Stu cried, “What the hell is going on out here?!”
Chuck jumped and spun around to meet Big Stu’s stare, “I was just teaching the team all about customer service.”
“Good job,” Big Stu said. “‘Cos since you’ve been harpin’ on about it so much, they’ll know exactly how to deal with that massive queue of complaining customers!”
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